Name: Andrew Malinowski
Hometown: Gardiner ME
Dear Sirs and/or Madames,
I would like to humbly submit my application for sponsorship. After reading this I’m sure you will be as excited to work with me as I am to work with you! You will see how we are a perfect match for each other – you preventing my chafing and I spreading the good name and value of the BodyGlide product line. (And potentially expanding the product line too. Two words: BodyGlide Pleasure (TM). Maybe get Rinny and I to do a commercial together… Think about it.)
The main reason I would make a good spokesperson is I am intimately familiar with your products. I use them virtually non stop. From where I am sitting right now I can see at least 4 sticks in various states of use, and I know of at least 2 others in the next room. Also let’s face it, you do not want to sponsor the pros. No one can relate to a super fit 0% body fat guy sprinting along a marathon with a little BodyGlide logo on his left arm. Racer 1138’s mom isn’t going to notice your logo, let alone think it may be of use to her. I’m giving you first option of large front and center middle of my chest and the middle of my back. And believe me, no one is going to mistake my physique for that of some unattainable Greek god. They will realize right away that my physique is very attainable and secretly then wonder, if /THIS/ guy can do an IronMan with the help of BodyGlide, then so can I. Boom! new customers!
You’ll be signing yourself on with an above average swimmer. People will see me gliding (gliding? get it: BodyGLIDE… Talented writer too.) through the water in my beautiful custom made (by you) BodyGlide/Orca wetsuit. I will come out of the water a little ahead of the big pack, when it is not too chaotic, giving good views for the fans and the cameras alike of your logo front and center. At this point I’d even let you do a quick interview with me on my way to T1. “Chafing? What chafing? Sunburn, nah-ah – I used new BodyGlide with sunblock.” That’s advertising gold right there. Also this means that all the good bikers who ignore the swim will come by me at some point on the ride. That is a /ton/ of eyeballs on your logo and seeing that I’m so smooth and comfy on my bike, they will KNOW I use BodyGlide-Chamois Glide (TM).
Then the run. This is where it will really pay off. Everyone will be dying with sunburn and blisters, but not me. I will run by them as only a mediocre run-walking first time IronMan can. They will see me not hobbling, as they endure their death march of pain and they will wish with all their might that they too had thought to use BodyGlide (TM). They will know what they need to do next time. You will get hundreds of new customers storming running and tri shops everywhere. This partnership will pay itself back 10 fold in a month.
Now the details. When you sign on with me we can discuss all the financials, my new ride (Corvette Z06), and the Glide Girls (these are just a few of my ideas!) at my pre-race BodyGlide (TM) tent. My one requirement, is a lifetime supply of BodyGlide, preferably in vat form so I can just dip myself in it. BodyGlide (TM): I invite you to join my team so we can make this happen.
Thank you for your consideration.
Recent and Future Races
5/7 – PolarBear Tri – Sprint: 58/130 Age Group, 74th Overall
5/12 – Pirate Tri – Sprint: DNF crash (No fault of BodyGlide)
Black Fly Tri Festival
- 7/8 – Time Trial – 22/25 Age Group, 118th Overall
- 7/9 – International Tri – 26/48 Age Group, 143 Overall
- 7/10 – Sprint Tri – 17/36 Age Group, 124th Overall
- Lord of the Flies Competition – 12/21 Age Group
Great Bay ½ Marathon: 1:48:34 34/85 Age Group, 322 Overall
Polar Bear Tri Sprint
Reach the Beach MA Relay
Black Fly Tri Festival – Lord of the Flies
IronMan US Championships